A Sad Heart

Letter from Jake's liver recipient about 4 months ago.

Mrs. Gentry,

My wife forwarded me your e-mail of Feb. 8. I am usually not at a loss for words, but it is difficult for me to find a way to express my gratitude for your family's gracious act of organ donation.  We say 'thank you' when the potatoes are passed at dinner, but somehow those two words seem completely inadequate when someone's  selfless gift saves your life. So in my own clumsy way I want you to know how much I appreciate Jacob's donation of life.

As I was on the gurney awaiting my surgery, I was alone for some time while they waited for everything to be prepared, and I couldn't help but reflect on how my day of hope had to be a day of great sorrow for some family. I now know that it was your family, and reading about Jacob and his story makes the whole experience even more bittersweet. April 7 for me now is a day of reflection and gratitude, and with tears remembering your loss. I hope it provides some small measure of comfort to you and your family that Jacob was able to contribute joy and hope to strangers even in his death. I will never take Jacob's gift for granted.

I must tell you a funny little story. I hope it is one that you can appreciate without having been there. One of the surgeons, Dr. Logan, visited me in ICU sometime after surgery. She emphatically informed me that I had received a beautiful liver. In my narcotic-induced haze I told her that only a surgeon could think like that. She would have none of my nonsense and insisted on what a wonderful looking organ it was. I smile and hope you will accept Dr. Logan's medical opinion that beauty is apparently more that skin deep!

I think that my wife has a plan for us to meet before long if you are ready for that. She is very strong and has been my Rock of Gibraltar through this whole journey, so I leave the details of that up to her and yourself.  I have to warn you that I may be choked up when we meet, but even if I can't get many words out, I want you to know how grateful I am that your family made that life-saving decision on what my wife now calls my other birthday.

God bless you, and I look forward to seeing you soon.

Sincerely,

Mike Morgan

Sadly, Mike passed away on Thursday, June 21. A good friend of mine said, "It wasn't the liver. The liver gave him two more years with his family." My heart breaks for his family, although I have not lost a father, or husband if you have been challenged by the untimely death of someone you love dearly you can relate. Mike was a huge supporter of organ donation, so as I end this post, I encourage you to visit the link below, and register to be a donor. I'm also including the link to the Morgan Music website where you can read more about Mike. =)

Save a Life Here

Learn about Mike here

Love, 

Rachel 

Balloon Release Letter

Hey All,

This is another balloon release letter from our April 7, 2011 release. We received the letter on March 27, 2 years to the day of when everything first happened. Please check it out below.

Dear Gentry Family;
Today is March 22, 2012.

My wife Michelle and I live in Wildwood MO. Our house is off the south side of highway 100 about 4 miles west of highway 109, in the middle of a beautiful valley that has been in my family since the Civil War, and we are only a few hundred feet from the spot where my grandpa and grandma's house stood until the highway department took it in 1971. I was born in their house in 1955, back when this area was called "Dutch Hollow".

My big brother, my little sister and I all grew up roaming the hills and creeks here, back when there weren't many people around. We trapped minnows from the creek for fish bait, we tied string to bacon rind and caught crawdads, we collected mushrooms, morels, blackberries- you name it- and we hunted all kinds of game from squirrels to deer. My uncle built an archery range for us in the valley, and we were seldom without our trusty slingshots stuck in our back pockets. To me, there is no better spot on earth and I feel incredibly lucky to live here.

Anyway, I was out walking around our woods this morning to check to the spring wildflowers, and by habit I wandered down along the creek to see if any turkeys were nesting yet. A few feet from my aunt Bebe's little white house, next to the stump of huge white oak tree where I had a tree house nearly 50 years ago, I came upon one of Jacob's balloon release cards.

Jake's card was found 200 feet southeast of our road sign and mailboxes, in front of a large white garage that used to house my grandpa's car repair shop. The garage was built to replace my grandpa's original gas station and car repair shop which was built in 1917 and stood approximately where our mail boxes are until it burned down in the 1960s. The shop where I learned to work on bikes, small engines, motorcycles, and cars. If you ever drive by you can see this building from highway 100.

I wanted to tell you that Jacob's card landed in a good place. We mow this yard every two weeks or so all summer, and we never noticed the card all last year but it was in plain sight on the top of the grass. It must have blown there recently. There were no balloons or string attached to the card, and I'm surprised that it was in such good shape.

I found the "Jakegentryrecovery" internet blog this afternoon, and I read what you wrote about Jake and looked at the pictures. The reason I described our home to you is because Jake enjoyed many of the same things that we enjoyed as kids growing up here, and I believe Jake would have liked it here too. Jake was a fine looking young man and he was taken from your family far too soon. I'm very, very sorry for your loss.

Sincerely,
Rob & Chele Rambaud

Organ Donation Update

It has taken me a long time to write this blog post. As I read back through what I have written previously sometimes I cannot believe that this is a reality. It is a combination of life moving forward, and the strange silence because Jake isn't around. Although in March it will be two years since Jake's accident, I still in many ways feel like life has stood still. While I see Jake's friends moving on to college, marriage, babies, etc., I think I speak for most of my family when I say it is hard to watch. Honestly, it can be like watching a dying dream, knowing that these things will never happen for Jake. I have promised to continue to tell Jake's story and be honest about what has truly happened. I am hoping that as you read this post, you decide to also share Jake's story.

I have linked below a video we received from the family that received Jake's liver. It was incredibly hard to watch but an unbelievable message. I have experiences like this and I remember what is important in life. Please share this story and check the organ donation box on your drivers license. You have the opportunity to donate life.

XOXO,
Rachel

Brick

May 25, 2011

Dear Rachel,
Just a short note to let you know that the brick which you purchased in honor of Jacob Watson Gentry has been installed-just in time for dedication of our newly remodeled amphitheater. The dedication ceremony will take place on Wednesday, June 29, at 10:30 a.m.

We hope you are able to join us for this event, but if not, the bricks may be viewed at any time. Our site is open every day from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m., except Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Sincerely,
Gay Schroer

Brick is at the World Bird Sanctuary
125 Bald Eagle Ridge Road
Valley Park, MO 63088 

Balloon Release

Hi Everyone,
As many of you know on April 7, 2011 we did a memorial picnic and balloon release in Jake's honor. Today we received a letter back from the release.The man that wrote us found two cards caught together. :) It is as follows.

Gentry Family,
I found these cards while mushroom hunting Sunday April 17th. They were hanging from a small tree at the edge of the woods. I was on a farm that is located close to the Golden Eagle ferry, Calhoun Co. IL. Our family sends our sincere sympathy for your loss.

Sincerely,
Bill Held

The Gift Of Life Part 2

April 2011
Dear Donor Family,
I am writing this on behalf of my husband and our family. I don't mind telling you that I have written, rewritten, and written it again in an attempt to get the words and emotions exactly right. After all how do you thank someone for saving your husband's life?

In July 2009, my husband Mike was diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma. Simply stated Mike had a cancerous growth in his bile duct. Unfortunately, the location prevented the best surgeons in the world from being able to operate. We were told this diagnosis would be considered fatal in most situations. However, as Mike became sicker and sicker, we were told of this "clinical study" that might save his life. First, he had to be pronounced healthy in all other ways except for the cancer. Next, he had to undergo months of chemotherapy, radiation, and exploratory surgeries. After all that, he was still considered healthy and the cancer did not spread, he would be listed for a liver transplant. The purpose of the "clinical study" was to prove that this line of treatment could cure his type of cancer.

Of course, we were willing to do anything to have a chance at keeping him alive. He was only 55 years old. He has two daughters. At that time, their ages were 20 and 17. We wanted him to see the youngest graduate from high school, to walk them down the aisle when they were married, and to be around to see who and what they would ultimately become. Therefore, the journey began.

As Mike went through rigorous medical tests, procedures, and treatments we tried to focus on the goal: a cure and his return to a healthy life. However, as the realization that this opportunity began to take hold in our lives, we understood that for Mike to survive, someone else would have to die. Some other family would lose someone they loved.

We could not bring ourselves to pray for someone else to have to endure such pain and heartache. So, instead, we prayed for God's will to be done. We prayed for the family and the donor in advance. We prayed that God would comfort them and give them peace. We prayed that God would give them strength to handle their loss and that their family would become closer to each other and God. We prayed that the donor and his/her family would be proud to know that they would be saving lives for all eternity. Not only was Mike's life spared but he will serve as a learning tool for doctors and scientists. What the doctors learn from Mike's situation will help them save countless lives in the future. So, in this case, organ donation truly is "the gift of life."

As you know on Wednesday April 7, 2010 you lost someone dear to you. When we got the call that a liver had become available we prayed all the way to the hospital. We live about three hours away! We were happy that Mike was finally going to get the chance to be healthy again. We were scared because this was no small operation. We were grateful because someone we had never met had the courage to make the decision to donate a loved one's organs. On that day, your family merged with ours.

As Mike recovered, we were aware that every milestone for him was a different kind of milestone for your family. Therefore, we continue to pray. While Mike slept in the hospital bed the weekend after surgery, I sat in his room and prayed for you. I knew you were likely saying goodbye. When Mike successfully survived a month, three months, six months, we prayed because we knew you were counting those dates as well. When we were lucky enough to have Mike with us for the holidays we prayed that God would give you strength. We understood that, like us, your holidays would never be the same.

We will continue to keep your family in our prayers the rest of our lives. We feel a strong emotional connection to you. We want you to know that Mike is doing well and he is doing everything the doctors tell him to do. Therefore, we expected him to live a long healthy life, thanks to your family.

Words cannot express how grateful we are for the gift you have given us. We wanted the opportunity to say "thank you" and to let you know that we will continue to pray for your family. You are definitely heroes to us. You and your loved one will not be forgotten.

May God Bless You,
*Family Name

Remembered

Dying, Christ destroyed our death.
Rising, Christ restored our life.
Christ will come again in glory.
As in Baptism Jacob put on Christ,
So in Christ may Jacob be clothed in glory.
Here and now, sisters and brothers, we are God's children.
What we shall be has not yet been revealed;
But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him,
For we shall see him as he is. Those who have this hope purify themseleves as Christ is pure.

Jesus said, I am the resurrection and I am life.
Those who believe in me, even though they die, yet shall they live and whoever lives and believes  in me shall never due. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last. I died, and behold I am alive for evermore, and I hold the keys of hell and death. Because I live, you shall live also.

Scripture Readings: Ps 23, Romans 8, John 14: 1-4, 18-19, 25-27

The Sermon:

Jacob Watson Gentry was born October 11, 1991 and died April 7, 2010. He is survived by his mom Virginia, his dad Les, his brother Andy, and his two sisters Erin and Rachel, along with many other family members and friends. He will be dearly missed by all of us.


I did not personally know Jacob, but I have learned a lot about him over the past couple of weeks, through visiting with family and friends as well as reading the blog that was set up for Jake, If you have not had a chance to read these touching entries, I invite you to go to jakegentryrecovery.blogspot.com.

As a youngster, Jacob was a slow grower. Still, he was on the move from very early on. Family members have remarked about this tiny thing that they would see running under tables. They had to put him in a toddler bed by the time he was 10 months old since he was leaping out of his crib. When he was not even a year old, he got two scars from running into the corner of a wall while chasing a cat. He would split open at other various points of his life. The windows in the house where he lived had to be redone so Jacob couldn't get out. When his mom took him for his two year check up, it didn't take ten minutes after the pediatrician came in for Jacob to be up on the window sill like a monkey. Multiple family members have mentioned that he was the kind of child that, "If he was the first one, you wouldn't have another one."

Although short in stature, Jacob was larger than life. It was as if he had the energy of four or five kids. Words like "daredevil" and "risktaker" always seem to pop up in descriptions of Jake. He was also extremely active and adventurous. Jacob played baseball, and football. In school he won the Presidential Physical Fitness Award. He took karate. Jake liked to fish, hunt, and was quite the outdoorsmen.

Of course, this adventurous spirit also got him into a little bit of trouble from time to time. According to multiple sources, Jacob was told not to return to Manchester United Methodist Church's Preschool due to his somewhat rowdy ways. You see, he didn't want to sing and listen to stories; he was all about the playground.

Jacob was quite popular with the ladies, even as early as 3rd or 4th grade. Love notes were often found in his jeans. One female admirer wrote on facebook about how Jake let her ride on his bike pegs, which is a huge sign of committment for an elementary school boy. Jacob, though always played it cool, as if he could have his pick of anybody, which to a certain extent may have been true.

Jacob was very mechanically inclined. Whether it was building bikes, fixing Rachel's car, or repairing the carborator on his Mom's lawn mower, you only had to tell him once how to do something.

Jacob deeply loved his family. It was said that his sister Rachel could get him to do anything. At many moments Jacob seemed to have no shame and to be embarrassed by anything. This is probably why he needed the supervision of three brothers & sisters. And of course, we all know he loved the attention.

Jacob did enjoy Church even though it was hard for him to sit still. His family enjoyed dinner prayers together. The older he got the more willing he was to have serious conversations from time to time. From the moment he was very young his family tried to instill these things in him, that he should be compassionate and try to help someone everyday. These lessons also occured in Sunday school or when Jacob would go play cards with Rachel and some of her friends. Such influence led Jacob to pray every single day. A couple of years ago Rachel had the opportunity to ask Jacob about his faith and he simply responded, "Rachel, same as you, Christian."

There are no words I can say today that will fully remove the feelings of grief, anger, pain, confusion, and sorrow that we are feeling right now. I do not come to you with empty platitudes. Now is not the time for saying things like, "God has a plan." This was not God's plan. What happened to Jacob was tragic. A parent should never have to bury a child. Any attempt to answer this question, "Why do things like this happen?" falls short at a time like this.

What I can tell you and remind you is the good news of great joy that is for all people. As Psalm 23 says, God is with us, even in the deep valleys and the dark shadows. Romans 8 recalls that nothing, not even death, can seperate us from the love of God that we find in Christ Jesus our Lord. In John 14 Jesus promises us that His house has many rooms, that He has prepared a place for us, and that He is coming back so that where He is, there we might be too.

As Christians and as the Church we just finished the season of Lent, where we remember the journey that Jesus made that ended in the suffering of a cross. God is not unable to to sympathize with what we are going through, for the Father has witnessed the same thing happen to His son. On Easter Sunday we celebrated God's victory over sin and death, that all of us live in the hope of resurrection power. Death does not have the last word. God does!

One of my favorite verses of Scripture is 1st Corinthians 2:9 where we hear that, "no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has imagained what God has prepared for those who love Him." Jacob is now seeing what our eyes have not seen. He is now hearing what our ears have not heard. He is now experiencing what your minds have not imagined. And with Jacob's zest for living, my guess is he is having the time of his life.

Dwight L. Moody was an American evangelist in the late nineteenth century. Right before he died, he sent out a message to members of his family that went something like this, "In a few days you will read in the newspaper of my death, but whatever you do, don't believe such rumors, for I tell you that I will be more alive now than I ever was before!" In the same way, Jacob is more alive now than ever was before.

Again, this does not take away our grief, but hopefully such truths can sustain us in this most difficult time: God is always with us. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. God's house has many rooms in it. Our route to such a house is to cling to Jesus, the one who conquered death and is the way, the truth, the life!

Reflection:
I loved this sermon because of its honesty and powerful message. I thought that today, this could be something we remember as we heard these words last at Jacob's Celebration of Life on April 10th 2010. I am unable to truly describe what the last year has been like. Honestly, it hasn't felt like a year. Everyday Jacob is on my mind, and I still struggle with the fact that it is true.  As I had stated before, my only hope for continuing to write and share my families story, Jake's story, is that maybe good will come out of this. The hope is maybe this will save another person's life.

Today as we reflect we will be having a memorial picnic in Jake's honor. Surrounded by food, family, and friends (and maybe some Lil' Wayne ;) ) we will remember Jake. We have had a brick named in his memory at this park and will be doing a balloon release. When we recieve letters back from the balloon release or if we recieve anymore information from the organ recieptiants I will post.

Love those around you even when it's hard.
Rachel