Life After the Age of 18

What does your life look like past 18? Out of high school, awkward dances, figuring out your friends, learning the freedom of driving, conquering your first job, and planning your future.

Life past 18 for many people is that time when you figure out who you are and what matters to you. If I were to look at my friends from my own teenage years, and look at them now, including myself we have all grown tremendously.  It is amazing how in such a short period of time people can change. It is transition from teenager to young adult.

Sometimes, my mind wonders and pictures the kind of "man" Jake would be now. That feels so odd to say, but I know the difference between 18 and 21 is great. Birthdays always seemed to be a big deal in my house. What made birthdays so great? 1. My mom would make you whatever kind of cake you wanted. 2. My mom would cook whatever your favorite dinner was... Some best parts of a birthday. The conversations that surrounded the dinner table during your birthday dinner were even better. Jake and our cousin Bill (Mom's side) had birthdays 7 years and 2 days apart, so when I think of October that is what I think of often a combo birthday celebration, some silly reference to Halloween or Jake only getting birthday cards that were truly meant for babies.

I can only imagine what kind of man Jake would be now. When we lost Jake he was going through a lot and seemed to have real hope for moving forward and finding his direction. I have no doubt that given the opportunity he would have conquered what seemed to stand in his way. If you knew Jake you knew that once his mind was made up that was it. He was going to do whatever it was.

I joked with Jake probably within the year he passed that I couldn't wait for him to turn 21 so we could actually go out together. He told me he could make that happen sooner.... (ugh, of course Jake!) I am by no means an expert at grieving or have all the wisdom to tell people how to recover from such a tragedy. I do however know that somedays, anniversaries, holidays, birthdays, etc. are better than others. This one seems to be tough- maybe because my mind is wondering what I thought today would look like 3 years ago when we celebrated his 18. I would have never imagined this.

It is funny how facebook's timeline truly is like a life documentary. I can go back and read old posts, and thank you facebook for making this easier to do. I remember for Jake's 17 birthday we actually went out to dinner and joked as always, but had some real conversation about his future, and what he wanted to do. I remember realizing, "Wow, he's not a little boy anymore." My post to him after dinner was "I'm so proud of you, and I love you very much." What a great reminder of the good moments too.

Cheers to Jake,
Rachel

A Sad Heart

Letter from Jake's liver recipient about 4 months ago.

Mrs. Gentry,

My wife forwarded me your e-mail of Feb. 8. I am usually not at a loss for words, but it is difficult for me to find a way to express my gratitude for your family's gracious act of organ donation.  We say 'thank you' when the potatoes are passed at dinner, but somehow those two words seem completely inadequate when someone's  selfless gift saves your life. So in my own clumsy way I want you to know how much I appreciate Jacob's donation of life.

As I was on the gurney awaiting my surgery, I was alone for some time while they waited for everything to be prepared, and I couldn't help but reflect on how my day of hope had to be a day of great sorrow for some family. I now know that it was your family, and reading about Jacob and his story makes the whole experience even more bittersweet. April 7 for me now is a day of reflection and gratitude, and with tears remembering your loss. I hope it provides some small measure of comfort to you and your family that Jacob was able to contribute joy and hope to strangers even in his death. I will never take Jacob's gift for granted.

I must tell you a funny little story. I hope it is one that you can appreciate without having been there. One of the surgeons, Dr. Logan, visited me in ICU sometime after surgery. She emphatically informed me that I had received a beautiful liver. In my narcotic-induced haze I told her that only a surgeon could think like that. She would have none of my nonsense and insisted on what a wonderful looking organ it was. I smile and hope you will accept Dr. Logan's medical opinion that beauty is apparently more that skin deep!

I think that my wife has a plan for us to meet before long if you are ready for that. She is very strong and has been my Rock of Gibraltar through this whole journey, so I leave the details of that up to her and yourself.  I have to warn you that I may be choked up when we meet, but even if I can't get many words out, I want you to know how grateful I am that your family made that life-saving decision on what my wife now calls my other birthday.

God bless you, and I look forward to seeing you soon.

Sincerely,

Mike Morgan

Sadly, Mike passed away on Thursday, June 21. A good friend of mine said, "It wasn't the liver. The liver gave him two more years with his family." My heart breaks for his family, although I have not lost a father, or husband if you have been challenged by the untimely death of someone you love dearly you can relate. Mike was a huge supporter of organ donation, so as I end this post, I encourage you to visit the link below, and register to be a donor. I'm also including the link to the Morgan Music website where you can read more about Mike. =)

Save a Life Here

Learn about Mike here

Love, 

Rachel 

Balloon Release Letter

Hey All,

This is another balloon release letter from our April 7, 2011 release. We received the letter on March 27, 2 years to the day of when everything first happened. Please check it out below.

Dear Gentry Family;
Today is March 22, 2012.

My wife Michelle and I live in Wildwood MO. Our house is off the south side of highway 100 about 4 miles west of highway 109, in the middle of a beautiful valley that has been in my family since the Civil War, and we are only a few hundred feet from the spot where my grandpa and grandma's house stood until the highway department took it in 1971. I was born in their house in 1955, back when this area was called "Dutch Hollow".

My big brother, my little sister and I all grew up roaming the hills and creeks here, back when there weren't many people around. We trapped minnows from the creek for fish bait, we tied string to bacon rind and caught crawdads, we collected mushrooms, morels, blackberries- you name it- and we hunted all kinds of game from squirrels to deer. My uncle built an archery range for us in the valley, and we were seldom without our trusty slingshots stuck in our back pockets. To me, there is no better spot on earth and I feel incredibly lucky to live here.

Anyway, I was out walking around our woods this morning to check to the spring wildflowers, and by habit I wandered down along the creek to see if any turkeys were nesting yet. A few feet from my aunt Bebe's little white house, next to the stump of huge white oak tree where I had a tree house nearly 50 years ago, I came upon one of Jacob's balloon release cards.

Jake's card was found 200 feet southeast of our road sign and mailboxes, in front of a large white garage that used to house my grandpa's car repair shop. The garage was built to replace my grandpa's original gas station and car repair shop which was built in 1917 and stood approximately where our mail boxes are until it burned down in the 1960s. The shop where I learned to work on bikes, small engines, motorcycles, and cars. If you ever drive by you can see this building from highway 100.

I wanted to tell you that Jacob's card landed in a good place. We mow this yard every two weeks or so all summer, and we never noticed the card all last year but it was in plain sight on the top of the grass. It must have blown there recently. There were no balloons or string attached to the card, and I'm surprised that it was in such good shape.

I found the "Jakegentryrecovery" internet blog this afternoon, and I read what you wrote about Jake and looked at the pictures. The reason I described our home to you is because Jake enjoyed many of the same things that we enjoyed as kids growing up here, and I believe Jake would have liked it here too. Jake was a fine looking young man and he was taken from your family far too soon. I'm very, very sorry for your loss.

Sincerely,
Rob & Chele Rambaud

Organ Donation Update

It has taken me a long time to write this blog post. As I read back through what I have written previously sometimes I cannot believe that this is a reality. It is a combination of life moving forward, and the strange silence because Jake isn't around. Although in March it will be two years since Jake's accident, I still in many ways feel like life has stood still. While I see Jake's friends moving on to college, marriage, babies, etc., I think I speak for most of my family when I say it is hard to watch. Honestly, it can be like watching a dying dream, knowing that these things will never happen for Jake. I have promised to continue to tell Jake's story and be honest about what has truly happened. I am hoping that as you read this post, you decide to also share Jake's story.

I have linked below a video we received from the family that received Jake's liver. It was incredibly hard to watch but an unbelievable message. I have experiences like this and I remember what is important in life. Please share this story and check the organ donation box on your drivers license. You have the opportunity to donate life.

XOXO,
Rachel

Brick

May 25, 2011

Dear Rachel,
Just a short note to let you know that the brick which you purchased in honor of Jacob Watson Gentry has been installed-just in time for dedication of our newly remodeled amphitheater. The dedication ceremony will take place on Wednesday, June 29, at 10:30 a.m.

We hope you are able to join us for this event, but if not, the bricks may be viewed at any time. Our site is open every day from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m., except Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Sincerely,
Gay Schroer

Brick is at the World Bird Sanctuary
125 Bald Eagle Ridge Road
Valley Park, MO 63088 

Balloon Release

Hi Everyone,
As many of you know on April 7, 2011 we did a memorial picnic and balloon release in Jake's honor. Today we received a letter back from the release.The man that wrote us found two cards caught together. :) It is as follows.

Gentry Family,
I found these cards while mushroom hunting Sunday April 17th. They were hanging from a small tree at the edge of the woods. I was on a farm that is located close to the Golden Eagle ferry, Calhoun Co. IL. Our family sends our sincere sympathy for your loss.

Sincerely,
Bill Held

The Gift Of Life Part 2

April 2011
Dear Donor Family,
I am writing this on behalf of my husband and our family. I don't mind telling you that I have written, rewritten, and written it again in an attempt to get the words and emotions exactly right. After all how do you thank someone for saving your husband's life?

In July 2009, my husband Mike was diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma. Simply stated Mike had a cancerous growth in his bile duct. Unfortunately, the location prevented the best surgeons in the world from being able to operate. We were told this diagnosis would be considered fatal in most situations. However, as Mike became sicker and sicker, we were told of this "clinical study" that might save his life. First, he had to be pronounced healthy in all other ways except for the cancer. Next, he had to undergo months of chemotherapy, radiation, and exploratory surgeries. After all that, he was still considered healthy and the cancer did not spread, he would be listed for a liver transplant. The purpose of the "clinical study" was to prove that this line of treatment could cure his type of cancer.

Of course, we were willing to do anything to have a chance at keeping him alive. He was only 55 years old. He has two daughters. At that time, their ages were 20 and 17. We wanted him to see the youngest graduate from high school, to walk them down the aisle when they were married, and to be around to see who and what they would ultimately become. Therefore, the journey began.

As Mike went through rigorous medical tests, procedures, and treatments we tried to focus on the goal: a cure and his return to a healthy life. However, as the realization that this opportunity began to take hold in our lives, we understood that for Mike to survive, someone else would have to die. Some other family would lose someone they loved.

We could not bring ourselves to pray for someone else to have to endure such pain and heartache. So, instead, we prayed for God's will to be done. We prayed for the family and the donor in advance. We prayed that God would comfort them and give them peace. We prayed that God would give them strength to handle their loss and that their family would become closer to each other and God. We prayed that the donor and his/her family would be proud to know that they would be saving lives for all eternity. Not only was Mike's life spared but he will serve as a learning tool for doctors and scientists. What the doctors learn from Mike's situation will help them save countless lives in the future. So, in this case, organ donation truly is "the gift of life."

As you know on Wednesday April 7, 2010 you lost someone dear to you. When we got the call that a liver had become available we prayed all the way to the hospital. We live about three hours away! We were happy that Mike was finally going to get the chance to be healthy again. We were scared because this was no small operation. We were grateful because someone we had never met had the courage to make the decision to donate a loved one's organs. On that day, your family merged with ours.

As Mike recovered, we were aware that every milestone for him was a different kind of milestone for your family. Therefore, we continue to pray. While Mike slept in the hospital bed the weekend after surgery, I sat in his room and prayed for you. I knew you were likely saying goodbye. When Mike successfully survived a month, three months, six months, we prayed because we knew you were counting those dates as well. When we were lucky enough to have Mike with us for the holidays we prayed that God would give you strength. We understood that, like us, your holidays would never be the same.

We will continue to keep your family in our prayers the rest of our lives. We feel a strong emotional connection to you. We want you to know that Mike is doing well and he is doing everything the doctors tell him to do. Therefore, we expected him to live a long healthy life, thanks to your family.

Words cannot express how grateful we are for the gift you have given us. We wanted the opportunity to say "thank you" and to let you know that we will continue to pray for your family. You are definitely heroes to us. You and your loved one will not be forgotten.

May God Bless You,
*Family Name