Happy Birthday Bub

It's been about 6 months since I posted anything. 6 months ago, Jacob passed away. It has been so unreal. 1 year ago at this time we celebrated Jake's birthday. I remember sitting around the table...Me, Mom, Erin, Andy, Zach, Jake, Kaede...We ate pot roast..My mom made this big chocolate cake, and spelled out on the top was "18" in candy corn...(she's always been creative). I remember going to the store that day, and picking out the CD that I had seen earlier...I thought for sure he'd like it...I remember actually before the party making his birthday card...Oh yes homemade! I remember thinking as we sat around the table eating..that this was seriously the best family birthday...I remember it being so clear because this was the first time I had ever met Zach...and the entire time we ate it was all stories about Jake. Everyone had some crazy story about Jake when he was little...The nicknames he liked to be called...the weird things he liked to do...My mom of course had to tell the story of Jake's birth...It's tradition. The stories kept coming and coming...I remember watching Zach's face he was beat red from laughter...I thought, "oh my he is going to think we are so weird..." But he loved it! By the end of the dinner he was already telling Jake he was going to "use this information against him..just wait..." he said. I don't know why I felt so strongly that this was a moment to remember...I do remember thinking to myself, "Soak all this up your going to want to remember it" At the time I didn't think much of this though...I thought I love this because it's Jake's day...and he is so happy, he was practically crying he was laughing so hard.

When it was time to open gifts it was strange...It was like everyone had coordinated gifts and cards...Although this wasn't the case, everyone (aside from me and my home made card) had bought Jake a card referring to the fact that he was "the baby" Every card literally was for a 2-5 year old. Again the laughs were amazing...Jacob was our baby. After Jacob's passing I found all the cards we had given him neatly placed on his dresser..Almost like a keep sake.
Today as we celebrate his day, I ask that you honor Jake by doing something that my family has loved to do...laugh.

I cannot describe the anguish I feel when I hear about negative choices that are still being made by his friends and peers. I can only say to you this: What we have all experienced as a family, has been some of the most excruciating pain...what is mental can often feel physical. I say for your own families sake, think about the choices you make. As I had stated in my post immediately after Jacob passed, we hope that from this life cut too short that people will learn, that it will stop someone from making this same mistake. There is no easy way to say it or way that I feel like I can be gentle but I feel like I should point out that I have lost a brother...my parents have lost a son..because of the powerful and damaging effects of the drug OxyContin.

The reality of the situation is that maybe I wouldn't be typing a blog to wish my baby brother a happy birthday...I wouldn't be watching the people around me mourn in misery. I can only hope that this message rings clear with all of you.

Show me a celebration with true happiness. That is a way to remember my brother.

The Gift of Life

The letter from Mid-America Transplant Services

April 14, 2010

Dear Virginia:

On behalf of Mid-America Transplant Services, I would like to offer my deepest condolences on the recent loss of your beloved son, Jacob Gentry. I would also like to offer my thanks for your courageous Gift of Life on behalf of Jacob. It is deeply moving when families are able to consider the needs of others, even as they are grieving the loss of a loved one. I would like to share with you the results of Jacob's Gift in the hope that it may bring you and your family a measure of comfort in the days to come.

The recipient of Jacob's liver is a 55-year-old gentlemen from Missouri. He was listed for his life-saving transplant in February of 2010 due to cholangiocarcinoma. He is married with two daughters and is self employed. I am happy to report he is doing well in his recovery. The gift of Jacob's right kidney was received by a 53-year-old gentlemen from Missouri. He was listed for his transplant in April of 2008 due to polycystic kidney disease. He is a farmer, enjoys church, time with his family, and playing the banjo. He is also doing well in his recovery. The recipient of Jacob's left kidney is a 24-year-old woman from Illinois. She was listed for a transplant in December of 2007. She is recovering nicely at this time.

The benefits of Jacob's donation of skin tissue and bone may touch over fifty individuals. Those needing skin grafts, orthopedic and neurosurgeries will have improved lives due to this gift. Two individuals in need of life saving open-heart surgery will receive the gift of Jacob's heart valves. Two individuals from the St. Louis area have received the Gift of Sight due to the transplantation of Jacob's corneas.

Jacob's Gift of Life has touched not only his recipients, but also their many family and friends. Once again, I offer my condolences on your loss and if I may help in any way, please contact me. I continue to hold you in my prayers.

Sincerely,
Sue



JACOB'S PRAYER CARD

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on the snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush,
of quiet birds in a circled flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there; I did not die.

Jacob

Oh Bubba

We celebrated Jacob's life. There was nothing easy about it. I'm heart broken like everyone else. The service was beautiful and reiterated, how precious life is. How we look for opportunities to enjoy life like Jake did. It also revealed that we aren't invincible. The message was so powerful. In no way was this part of God's plan, or any kind of punishment. God hurts just like us, he doesn't want to see us this way. I had this conversation with my mom as well. Jacob would hate if we shut down and ignored the world. That would never be what he would want. We will mourn the loss of Jacob physically, but rejoice, about where his spirit is. I can only offer words of encouragement. My baby brother will live on, if you let him. Rachel

Baby Boy

Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory
for ever and ever.
Amen.

Jake passed away this morning at 9:35.

My heart aches as I write this, as it has with all of my other posts. There are no right words to say or something that can bring anyone immediate comfort. We have struggled this past week as has Jake.
We have been at a great hospital surrounded by outstanding staff, and have had an overflow of love and support from family and friends. Through prayer and thought as a family we have made decisions for Jacob this entire week. I cannot imagine anything else that could be quite this painful, yet I am sure it is possible.
I want to stress the fact that Jacob did have an aneurysm that did burst and has made him very ill, however; the drug Oxy Contin played a huge role in what happened. We are in no way trying to 'sugar coat' this tragedy. From my mother's own words, "if anything good were to come of this, I would hope that it would save another life."
My brother had an endearing smile and laugh. He loved things that were adventurous and gave him a chance to be wild...
I had mentioned earlier that is was so hard to see him be so still. That hasn't gotten any easier. Jacob has been trapped in a body that doesn't function, work or operate in anyway since March 28th. Selfishly, I don't want to let go, but realistically, I know this is no way for anyone to live.
Jacob's life lives on in others. Some people knew Jake as a child, and some only as a young adult. Some of us were lucky enough to know Jake from the beginning, when he was "Elmer" in my Mom's belly.
Jacob will be giving the gift of life to many people as we have decided on his behalf to donate his organs.
We will be having a Celebration of Life Ceremony Saturday April 10, 2010
Visitation will be from 1:00pm-3:00pm with a service immediately following at 3:00pm. Everything will be held at:
First United Methodist Church in St. Charles
801 1st Capitol Drive
St Charles, MO 63301-2791
(636) 947-0066


Donations can be made to the "Jacob Gentry Memorial Fund"
through Enterprise Bank and Trust
1001 First Capitol Dr. St. Charles MO 63301
As a family, we will decide on a charity to donate the funds to.


Jacob- I love you so much, I'll see you again.

Rachel

Tuesday

I know I haven't updated in a few days, it has been really difficult. Jake's progress is still the same. He has been battling fevers the past few days, and he has some kind of infection. They aren't sure about the infection but are treating it with antibiotics. His lungs are being cleared frequently, because of the constant forms of secretions. We ordered an MRI to see the damage that has been done to Jake's brain. We are still waiting on results.
We are patiently waiting and still reading to Jake.
Thank you for your continued support and prayers.

Rachel

Silent Saturday

There isn't much to say today. Jake had peaceful night, in fact we all did. It was a quiet night and there hasn't been much change. The doctor popped in today to check on Jake and did the same tests to look for a response and again Jake is not responding. They took a chest X ray just to check on Jake's lungs. We haven't gotten the results back yet, but I will update when I do have them.
Jake is so still and looks as though he is in a deep sleep. If you know Jake at all, he is never been the kind of person to sit still. He is always on the go. It is hard to watch him be so still.
God Speed Little One

Rachel

Good Friday

I wanted to start the blog for today by just saying thank you for all of the support with Jacob. The cards, flowers, food, phone calls, voice mails, e-mails, facebook messages, and text messages have been very sweet and encouraging. Unfortunately, Jake is very susceptible to pneumonia at this point because of the secretions forming in his mouth and lungs. The nurses are suctioning his mouth constantly to try and avoid this problem, but because he is in a constant state where he is lying down it is very easy for it to form. As a concern for Jacob's health we are asking that we do not have visitors whom are not immediate family in order to decrease the number of people and germs entering the room. Again, thank you for the concern but we want to keep Jacob as healthy as possible.
We talked to Jake's doctor today and preformed the same tests to see if there was any change or response. Unfortunately, it is the same as the previous days. The ventilator is currently breathing for Jake 100% of the time which means so far he is not over riding the ventilator.
We have continued to read to Jake and Becca (his girlfriend) started reading to Jake "The Secret Life of the Bees" we noticed about after 20 minutes of her reading Jake's eyes started looking like they were moving up and down. However, we talked to the doctor about this and he considers this to be purely a reflect. This does not necessarily show brain activity.
The doctor will not be back this weekend but will be back on Monday. He has talked to another surgeon about inserting a tracheotomy and a feeding tube this coming week for Jake.
He is absorbing his food and as of right now is off his last blood pressure medicine (this for now is temporary until we see how he does without it). As we enter Easter weekend, a time normally spent with family and loved ones I ask that you please cherish this time with lots of love and laughter as we will do the same.


Rachel

Late April 1st

Hi Everyone,


I wanted to give a brief update about today. I wrote earlier this morning and I would say as a family we had a bit of a rough night. The man next door to us passed away last night-so please say a prayer for his family.

Today, Jake has been absorbing his food which was great. He also had a CT scan on his neck to make sure there weren't any fractures. Jake did well through the scan luckily has no fractures so we were able to remove his neck brace. Jake is also off another one of his blood pressure medicines so Jake is now only on one blood pressure medicine...This is great.

Throughout the day Jake has had a few low grade fevers, a high fever would be considered 100.5. Jake is being rotated continuously, and he has a few bed sores, but he is also on medicine for that.

If there is no progression for Jake by this weekend then we will be talking about inserting a tracheotomy and a feeding tube. This will alleviate all of the different cords and tubes around Jake's face and it will also be more comfortable for him.

Erin wanted me to add that she has been reading Jake all kinds of great literature including, magazine articles about Brett Michaels, and Sandra Bullock....but really we are reading to him all the time, whatever we can find.

Jake was so strong today and got a bath with his own body wash. We even gave him a little spray of his Usher cologne so he could smell more like himself.

Today was a really hard day for a lot of us, but Jake pulled through like always. Please continue to pray for his smiling face.

Rachel

The early morning April 1st

Jake had an okay night. I was the last one to fall asleep and was awake with him for a couple of hours.I had such an uneasy feeling that I just laid down staring at Jake. After falling asleep for a few hours I suddenly woke up and a male nurse introduced himself as Dave, and said he was taking over for a few hours while many of the other nurses were taking care of the man next door who he said "crashed." I cannot describe what an horrible feeling that is. I laid awake...he then asked for my mom and she suddenly woke up and talked to the nurse. He let her know that Jake's temperature had spiked during the night to 103, but this time they had given him Tylenol and it broke the fever. I fell asleep and woke again we could hear the "code blue" announced for the room next door, I laid still and could hear the sounds of people running. It is such a scary thing.

I woke up again before 7 this morning listening to Dave (the nurse) speak with my sister Erin. He was just talking about Jake, and said sometimes we make bad decisions, we all do but you really have to keep your hope. He said, he has a son who is 15 and looks a lot like Jake. He said he will be going home this morning and really talking to his son. He said, that Jake will really be in our prayers and it is difficult to see happen. He continued, I just want to encourage you to keep hoping for Jake. He said I have worked in the ICU for a long time and have worked with Dr. Wetherington (Jake's neurosurgeon) and he's a 'slick doc' Jake really is in great hands.
He gave an example of a young man who had an aneurysm burst similar to Jake's and they did surgery and while he was in the hospital the young man had a second burst on the other side of his brain. He was in a coma and very very sick for months, but he pulled through and he is functioning. He said, the young man was frustrated he had a really hard time but he made it.
I have to admit hearing stories like these are nothing but encouraging. I know everyone is different. Our bodies are all different, but Jake's resilience is one in a million.
As we have been sharing stories, Jake has always been the kid that would try anything and excel at whatever he wanted to do. This is how he operated.

BOY (as Andy would say) you're tough!

Rachel

Continued Support

The day for Jake has been rather peaceful. We made it through the night again without any spikes in his vitals and he stayed stable all night. Yesterday Jake had started being fed through a feeding tube. But, today we found out that Jake's isn't absorbing the food (he has always been a picky eater). He was started on a medicine to help him absorb the food.
His left eye is a bit swollen and this is resulting from his eyes not completely shutting. Although we are putting medicine on his eyes to help keep them shut, this is common.
We did have good news today that Jake's eye that has been more responsive was more responsive today than it was yesterday. We are looking for signs of response and the fact that this was a little better today was a great sign.
We also learned today that his white blood count had gone down since yesterday, which again this is something positive.
We talked to the neurosurgeon again today and he went over the CT scan with us.
He basically said, yes there is still swelling in Jake's brain. There is an awful lot of his brain that he said is "dark" he also said unfortunately that part of his brain stem is also "dark" what this means....I'm not completely sure. What I do know, is that Jake fights continually. If he wants anything he figures out a way to make it happen. He considers his resources and he goes for it.
That is what we are doing. We are continuing to pray, love, and hope.
Until next time.

Rachel

The end of March30th

There isn't much to update from earlier. Jake has been amazing all day. He hasn't been running crazy fevers and his vitals have been steady all day. The doctor came in this morning and checked on him again. He tested for signs for response. When he grabbed Jake's toe his knee did twitch. However, we don't know if this was a response from the brain or the spinal cord. We are looking for signs from the brain. Today we started feeding Jake through a feeding tube. This feeding tube is not long-term but we will talk about a long term feeding tube in the future.
Jake is off one of his three blood pressures medicines and is where it should be. Ideally, we would like to get him off all of the blood pressure medicines.
Jake did develop thrush in his mouth which is a simple infection often found in babies. Jake most likely developed this from a steroid that he is on. Very easy to treat.
Jake did get a head CT today, which we were unaware that he was going to have. We talked to the ICU doctor (NOT Jake's neurosurgeon) and she went over the CT scan. It basically just showed the swelling in Jake's brain and the area of the brain that has been effected from the aneurysm. We will have more information tomorrow when we go over the head CT with the neurosurgeon. Today and tonight has been peaceful and we are continuing to pray.
We love you Jake.

Rachel

Early Morning Tuesday March 30th

Jake did well all night. He made it through with one small fever around 3am. He was given a bath this morning and is still on all the same meds.

Our cousin Bill who is in the navy was able to take an emergency leave and his flight will be landing here in St. Louis in about 30 minutes. We are so thankful for this. Jake and Bill are very close and it will be good for Jake to hear Bill's voice.

The doctor should be by at some point this morning and I can update again then.

Jake Day Two Monday March 29th

Hi All,
I know I told everyone that I would update this as soon as we heard from the doctor. Today Jake has struggled all day with his body temperature, brain pressure,and blood pressure. But he has been a fighter. Every time things have been a little shaky he has come back.
He started two antibiotics today because his white blood count has been high. Usually when this happens it is a sign of infection. However, the nurses let me know that he could test high for white blood cells and its not an infection. The antibiotics are just precautionary. He also started an IV of potassium to lower the pressure in his brain. We added "booties" to his feet so he won't develop bed sores.
THE DOCTOR
The neurosurgeon said, that from now it is a waiting game. Jake is showing less reaction today in his pupils which could be a bad sign. The doctor said, the more time that goes by and he loses functions then we will have to consider other possibilities.
Currently, Jake is not responding to several tests such as: pain tests on the toes and hands. His pupils do respond but it is minimal. The next 3 to 4 days we will be waiting for the brain swelling to go down. The doctor said, that the longer time goes by where he isn't responding then the less likely it will happen down the road.
Questions were asked about whether or not the fact that part of cerebellum was removed and how this could effect him in the future. The doctor responded, that many people have parts of the cerebellum removed and they are ok and the effects can be minimal.
What makes Jake's situation difficult is that the part of the brain that had the aneurysm was in the cerebellum which was dangerous because it was putting pressure on the brain stem. We do not know the effects this will have.
RIGHT NOW
We are praying for signs of life. We are hoping he responds to the simple tests that the doctor gives showing that he is still there. We are praying for a miracle.
The doctor will be back in the morning and I will update then.


Rachel

The first few days

Hi Everyone,

I wanted to create something where we could all get updates on Jake. I won't be leaving the hospital much so I will be able to keep everyone posted.

Jake was rushed to the ER just after 1 am the early morning of Sunday March 28th. He had snorted the drug OxyContin and the doctors believe he had a weak vessel in his brain. The drug went immediately to the brain and caused this vessel to burst. The doctors did a scan of the brain and saw this and came to us with the option to operate. At this time Jake had stopped breathing on his own and showed no signs of brain activity. We of course opted to do the surgery in hopes of saving Jake's life. The doctor warned as all about how risky this surgery is. He said that if this wasn't an 18 year old kid he would not even do it. The Neurosurgeon and his team went in and did their magic. Jake was amazing and made it through the surgery.

Once he was stable enough in ICU we were able to see him. While we sat with him my mom and I noticed his eyes really moving a lot. At some points he was moving them so much I was sure he was really trying to open them. This was a great sign. We don't know if this is voluntary or involuntary.

When Jake was first in the hospital his body temperature was 89 degrees. So after surgery we really worked on raising his temperature. Slowly his temperature did rise and we got it to be normal.

However, as the night went on Jake began to have a fever and at one point reaching 103.9.
Everyone was asked to leave the room as his temperature, blood pressure, and heart rate were not where they should have been.

We stayed by his side through the night and Jake was finally stable again. We are seeing the doctor this afternoon and I will update this blog then.

Keep your prayers coming, they are working miracles!


Rachel