6 Years ~

Hello Everyone,

I am sorry I haven't posted here in such a long time! Today April 10, 2016 ~ we celebrated Jake in park surrounded my nature, beauty, friends and family. Six years ago today, myself and my siblings Erin & Andy stood and spoke before many of you at Jake's celebration of life. One of the hardest things I have ever done, and much of it I can't truly remember.

Grief is one of the most difficult things to ever walk through, and one of the hardest to try and explain. It is in so many forms and I often think of it in waves. My personal journey after Jake passed has been something I cannot really describe. I have learned that some people won't understand, will never have the right words, and sometimes will not act in the way that I believe they should. My heart has found such peace with that last statement because I have realized for people to truly understand my feelings and thoughts maybe they would need to experience loss in the same way, and that I would never wish upon anyone.

Today, we celebrated Jake. We had lunch, cake, and a beautiful balloon release. Before everyone arrived a few of us were there early setting up and blowing up balloons. A man approached us and said: "I noticed your banner, DONATE LIFE is that for organ donation?" We responded, yes and he asked if that also included Bone Marrow Transplants, we responded yes. He then shared with us the story of his wife needing and receiving a bone marrow transplant 5 years ago and said it saved her life. He asked us if we lost someone and my mom shared that we lost Jake 6 years ago, but were able to donate his organs. She explained every year we get together and celebrate him and share the gift that he has given us and so many others. The man thanked us for sharing his story and advocating for organ donation. ~What a cool way to start the picnic.

I hope you all find the same peace and joy.

Love you all. XO.
Rachel 

Balloon Release 2014

Happy to share a card that was sent to my mother. See photos below. 

XoXo, 

Rachel

April 7, 2014

Reflection:

Isn't it funny how we chose to reflect on those moments in life that proved their impact was great? I think about Jake on a daily basis whether it is something I see that reminds me of him or something I personally do where I pause and think of his reaction, his thoughts, smile or disagreement with what I'm doing.

Four years have passed since I slept in a hospital room praying he'd pull through. Four years since I'd wake up in the middle of the night sit by his bed - hold his hand and just talk to him. It is funny how I remember the smell of the hospital and the taste of the coffee in the shop below his room. Small things trigger my memories of what that entire experience was like.

I am pretty sure I experienced every emotion humanly possible during that time and the long months that followed. I remember the words of "encouragement" during that time. Some was so comforting and others meant to be comforting but shouldn't have said anything. Some people were silent and still remain silent - I remind myself they just don't understand.

I share Jake's story from my own viewpoint. I knew he was struggling but had such hope that it would all come together. I struggle with the concept of when do you step in to help someone and when do you let them figure it out on their own? The recreational use of OxyContin took the life of my brother - but it did not steal all the memories I have from childhood, teenage years, and as a young adult.

I remember his energy, zest for life and ability to conquer his fears something I really miss. As a family we decided on Jake's behalf to donate his organs and provide an opportunity for a second chance at life for complete strangers from the Missouri area. This opportunity has provided such great comfort and the chance for parts of Jake to live on in other people. My mind misses Jake but my heart tells me we will meet again.

On October 11, 2014 we will be hosting our first ever "Jake's Fishing Derby" from 8:00 AM - 12:00 PM at Simpson Park, Valley Park, MO. Erin and I have been working hard to find an agency to donate funds to on an annual basis in Jake's name. This will be completed before Jake's Derby. October 11th will mark the 5th birthday without Jake here with us - and we will be celebrating his 23rd.

Baby "Jake" Jesse Davis' son :)

Support, hug and love those around you. Xo.
Rachel



John 14: 1-8

Balloon Release Card Found May 2011

Found in Portage De Sioux, MO out in the farm lands. 

Balloon Release Card Found 4/8/2012

Found while working a farm field north of Edwardsville, IL 62034. Between Edwardsville and Hamel off of hwy 157 on 4/8/2012.

Good luck,
Jim

This card was Brody Brown's. =)

3 Years Ago

"As the body without the spirit is dead, so the faith without the deeds is dead." - James 2:26

I remember this day so vividly 3 years ago today. I woke up early in the morning and sat by Jake and held his hand, as I knew it would be the last time. I prayed and I prayed. The days, weeks, months, and years to follow are something that no one could have prepared me for. I know most won't understand until they have been through it-- and even then every situation is different.

Today-- on a beautiful day in Missouri we celebrated the life of Jake. As I was driving to the park today I thought back to when everything first happened my heart was filled with such sorrow - I didn't stop crying for a very long time. Even today with tears there seems to be so much healing that has happened (at least for me).

Maybe it is part of growing up or just knowing that someone has to be strong and keep it together. As many of you know we had the privilege of connecting with a donor recipient of Jake - his name was Mike.  Today I think of them as they had called April 7 Mike's second birthday. I thought it would only be appropriate to share a blogpost that Mike's wife Kathy made in honor of Jake in February 2012.

To me it is just a reminder how connected we all are... Even when we don't realize it.

"Jacob Watson Gentry

       Jacob Watson Gentry, known as Jake to his family and friends, is the young man who passed away on April 7, 2010, and provided Mike with a second chance at life. 

       Mike and I have been in contact with Jake’s mother, Virginia.  We are planning to meet, possibly in March.

       Jake’s family had a blog during his illness and they have graciously given us permission to place a link on our Caring Bridge site.  It is our hope, both his family and ours, that our readers will learn from our experiences and spread the word to your friends and families.

       While reading Jake’s blog you will learn about his personality, his humor, his family and about the tragic manner in which he died.  Any time a child dies it is tragic.  Yes, Jake was a child.  He was an 18 year old boy.  He was just a few months older than our own daughter, Kristen. 

       We know that those of you who have been our prayer warriors through Mike’s illness and recovery will appreciate having a name and a face for your prayers. 

       I ask that you continue to pray with us.  As we do, keep Jake’s family in your heart and prayers.  I cannot imagine what it must be like to lose a child.  I cannot imagine the decisions Virginia had to make during Jake’s illness.  I cannot imagine how difficult her life must be now. 

       I can only pray that God shed his grace on her and her family for the wonderful gift they have given our family.  I pray that she will find peace in knowing that her son lives on in others.  I pray that God will hold her hand and give her comfort in her hours of grief.  I pray that their pain will diminish with time. 

       We will forever be grateful to the Gentry family for sharing Jake with us.  We thank God for Jake every day.  We will always honor his memory.

       Link to Jake’s blog

May God bless the Gentry family,

Kathy"

"You have turned my mourning into dancing, you have turned my sorrow into joy."

Lots of love, 

Rachel

Life After the Age of 18

What does your life look like past 18? Out of high school, awkward dances, figuring out your friends, learning the freedom of driving, conquering your first job, and planning your future.

Life past 18 for many people is that time when you figure out who you are and what matters to you. If I were to look at my friends from my own teenage years, and look at them now, including myself we have all grown tremendously.  It is amazing how in such a short period of time people can change. It is transition from teenager to young adult.

Sometimes, my mind wonders and pictures the kind of "man" Jake would be now. That feels so odd to say, but I know the difference between 18 and 21 is great. Birthdays always seemed to be a big deal in my house. What made birthdays so great? 1. My mom would make you whatever kind of cake you wanted. 2. My mom would cook whatever your favorite dinner was... Some best parts of a birthday. The conversations that surrounded the dinner table during your birthday dinner were even better. Jake and our cousin Bill (Mom's side) had birthdays 7 years and 2 days apart, so when I think of October that is what I think of often a combo birthday celebration, some silly reference to Halloween or Jake only getting birthday cards that were truly meant for babies.

I can only imagine what kind of man Jake would be now. When we lost Jake he was going through a lot and seemed to have real hope for moving forward and finding his direction. I have no doubt that given the opportunity he would have conquered what seemed to stand in his way. If you knew Jake you knew that once his mind was made up that was it. He was going to do whatever it was.

I joked with Jake probably within the year he passed that I couldn't wait for him to turn 21 so we could actually go out together. He told me he could make that happen sooner.... (ugh, of course Jake!) I am by no means an expert at grieving or have all the wisdom to tell people how to recover from such a tragedy. I do however know that somedays, anniversaries, holidays, birthdays, etc. are better than others. This one seems to be tough- maybe because my mind is wondering what I thought today would look like 3 years ago when we celebrated his 18. I would have never imagined this.

It is funny how facebook's timeline truly is like a life documentary. I can go back and read old posts, and thank you facebook for making this easier to do. I remember for Jake's 17 birthday we actually went out to dinner and joked as always, but had some real conversation about his future, and what he wanted to do. I remember realizing, "Wow, he's not a little boy anymore." My post to him after dinner was "I'm so proud of you, and I love you very much." What a great reminder of the good moments too.

Cheers to Jake,
Rachel